Josiah Michael Hopkins

Josiah Michael Hopkins

March 29^th, 2012

What an absolute blessing we have in our little Josiah! August 5^th was Gary’s birthday, I was in a car accident and went to the ER to get checked out. We found out that we were expecting our fourth blessing. September 14th we thought we had lost our precious baby and as we sat trying to grasp what was going on we were comforted and encouraged by those around us. I soon saw our little one doing flips comfortably inside my womb. God had chosen to preserve the life He created!

Believing that this will probably be our last biological blessing, I decided early on that I wanted a natural birth without pain medications. With each of my other three, I got that glorious epidural. With Charis and Tobias I had pitocin which intensified contractions beyond comprehension. Even though their labors were short, they were intense and I was thankful for the relief. But I wanted to try with this birth. I wanted to see what all of the hype was about. And I wanted the best for me and my son, who had already been through so much.

The plan was set. I would labor at home for as long as possible with Audra coming to support me through the worst of it. I would then head to the hospital with her and Gary would meet us there as soon as child care arrived at the house. Gary’s cousin, Michelle who is a doula, would also meet us at the hospital.

With my due date being April 5^th, I expect the delivery to take place sometime during the first week of April. I went to my Drs. Appointment on Wednesday the 28^th and had been contracting about every 5-7 minutes. When he told me that I was 1.5cm dilated and 50% effaced my response was, “You have got to be kidding me!” He offered an induction date of the 3^rd, which I refused. He then told me he wanted to see me on the 2^nd if I hadn’t gone into labor before hand, but that he didn’t anticipate me holding out that long.

I continued having light contractions all day and that evening at church, I told everyone that I believed we would have a baby that night. Gary and I had finished preparations and I had a bag packed. That evening we got home from church and everyone settled in. I slept from about midnight til 2:30 and got up with somewhat stronger contractions that were ranging between 3-5 minutes apart, but weren’t very intense. Gary wanted me to go to the hospital, but I did not want to lie in a bed with an IV hooked up to monitors, nor did I want to be sent home because I hadn’t dilated! I wanted everyone to rest, myself included. I got up and watched a little TV then decided to lie back down around 4:30am. At 6 am I woke to stronger contractions that were in my lower abdomen and wrapped around my back, but still did not encompass my entire uterus, nor did my lil boy move down out of my rib cage. I texted Audra and she headed over arriving around 6:30am. At this point, contractions were still very manageable and ranging between 2-4 minutes apart. We talked, walked out back, walked out front, visited with the neighbor etc. Finally we came inside where I had two stronger contractions followed by what I believe was the placenta pulling away. At about 8:30, I knew it was time to go. I had already called Maralee to come take care of the babies and gotten Gary up.

Audra and I headed to the hospital with still bearable contractions. I was humming through the pain which started to intensify due to what I believed was the car ride. In a short few moments, my humming turned to groaning and pain shot down my thighs. It was incredible how quickly things progressed. Of course we were in traffic and headed toward Dallas. At one point I remember telling Audra that I just wanted out of the car. She asked if I wanted her to pull over and in that moment I felt pressure. I told her she HAD to get to the hospital. We were yards from the exit where we saw the wreck that had slowed traffic and she was able to put on hazards and get us off of the highway a little quicker.

Arriving at the hospital at about 9:10am, Audra physically helped me out of the car. The sweet volunteer, Henrietta started to take me to admissions who promptly said, ‘No! She goes straight back!” I stopped for a contraction while Henrietta grabbed a wheel chair. My water burst! Not a trickle.. a BURST! Thank goodness I was in sweats. Audra left me to go park the car and I was literally wheeled down one hallway to the nurses’ desk. Jennifer was there. She had done my birthing class with Micaiah and delivered Charis and Tobias.

God was totally in Jennifer being there at that moment. I calmly said, “Jennifer, I am about to have a baby.” She replied with, “I know! Are you excited?” I then felt Josiah slam down and had the urge to push. I said, “NO! I AM ABOUT TO HAVE A BABY NOW!! I NEED TO PUSH!” In that moment, everyone jumped up and all organized chaos began. Jennifer backed me into a room that wasn’t ready, quickly headed for a second room and started giving out orders. Mind you, I have been inside the hospital all of about 2 minutes at this point. Two nurses got me onto a bed and quickly stripped me waist down while others were setting up for delivery. It was confirmed that there was meconium and NICU was alerted. Dr Gordon had already been called. I heard a nurse say, “Let’s just check you and see what’s going on.. SHE’S CROWNING!”

Audra comes in and I have her arm as I am on my side screaming. She says that is how she found me in the first place. She also said that as she entered a nurse was physically pushing against me to hold the baby in. I told her that Gary was going to miss it all and to get him on speaker phone. That was at 9:19am. I remember saying, “I want him out!! I have to push!!” With nurses replying, “No! Don’t push!” and at the next contraction them saying, “Okay, we don’t want you to tear. Push easy!” Olive oil was generously applied as Audra kept saying, “You are doing great, Allison. He is almost here. Its almost over.” Good thing she was calm, because I sure WAS NOT! A nurse came in putting on a white gown and they asked if Dr. Gordon was here yet and she said, “Nope! Just me myself and I!” Not comforting. Two seconds later in walked Dr. Gordon who says with a smile, “Well, you didn’t need your induction!”

I begged for a local to which he winked and said, “What do you need a local for?” Everyone assures me he did not wink, but he DID! And he smiled. While he may be a bit old fashioned for some and his dry sense of humor a bit much for others, he provides a calm that I find assuring. He told me to focus and Jennifer called my name twice. I distinctly remember turning and thinking, “If I want this baby out, I have to get control and calm down.” He gave me a local and a small episiotomy. Then, he told me to give a controlled push. Jennifer had me grab my legs and I pushed. He asked for one more small push and there was my sweet baby’s head. One more light push and out came his body. 9:28 am. 7lbs .08oz and 19 in long. Josiah Micheal Hopkins was here.

He was quickly swept over to be suctioned out and given an apgar of 9. Dr. Gordon finished up the birthing process while we let Gary go. They came in a few moments later to get blood and asked where my IV was. I realized that very little had happened prior to the birth. I was still in the shirt I wore from home. Jennifer hadn’t asked me all of the pre birth questions. I was in the door and everyone hit the floor running. God orchestrated everything perfectly. I could not have asked for a more amazing, intense, and incredible birth. I could not have asked for a calmer stress relieving doctor. I could not ask for better nurses, especially Jennifer. And I could not have asked for a calmer more controlled supportive friend to assist me. It was truly amazing and not only was it everything that I had hoped for.. It was FAR FAR more! My recovery has been amazingly quick and I have been able to enjoy our sweet little one. He is absolutely precious.

In a Not so Small Nutshell

I thought that my last blog was about six months ago. Seems that it was about a YEAR AGO!!! Where oh were has the time gone? This past year has been a whirl wind of activities and events. The summer vanished before my eyes and I guess the biggest day of the year for our family occurred on August 5th.
We raced to the chiro to get the children adjusted, something that we have implemented with a MUCH desired and successful outcome. Gary headed to the church with them as I departed for a the funeral of a dear friends Dad. How my heart broke for her as I headed down 35 south. I thought of the ups and downs she would be experiencing over the next year.. years. How she would shed tears because she missed him more than words, how she would laugh at times they shared, how she would envy heaven for having him and envy him for being in the presence of the Savior. I thought all of this as I sat.. on 35. yes.. Sat... and realized that I was going to be late. I exited the highway to bypass some of the traffic. We all know that when that happens you inevitably hit a red light. I was the first at the light and therefor the first to pull into the intersection, which made me the first to be hit by the car who was in a hurry to get to work and failed to stop at his red light. Now, a million things go through ones mind when you see the light pole growing closer to your car. 'This cant be good!" "This is gonna hurt!" I never saw my life flash before my eyes thank goodness:) And Praise God, his hand was on my car. Literally inches separated the car from the huge light post and possibly major pain. After an hour of waiting for the police to show and then lunch, it was decided I should go to the hospital to be on the safe side.

Now, I am thinking that I have got to get into and out of this ER in a timely manner because I have a surprise party for my dear husband at Spring Creek with many people.. and of course, he is clueless even though I do this about every other year. Of course they want to do x-rays and the first question they ask a woman before x-rays is.... "Are you pregnant?" Well now, that was a good question this go around. We had been trying for a few months, but had been unsuccessful. As I looked at my calendar, I realized that we should probably test. Gary got on the phone and started asking for prayers for the x-rays and such as the nurse came in and wheeled me to the room. We had indeed been blessed with pregnancy #4, but he would not be told yet because he was ON THE PHONE!!! So into x-ray I went being triple shielded for the upper x-rays and denying the lower ones. As I came out he says, "So I guess you arent pregnant." My response? "Happy Birthday, Dear!" He was just as excited as he was with the previous three wanting to call everyone immediately and making a fb post even though I told him to wait:) He has never been good at keeping exciting news a secret. All checked out well, with only soft tissue damage and off we went to the Birthday party.
Things were pretty routine until September 14th. I sat in the nursery on a Wednesday night holding a sweet little one and it hit.. there was a gush. I asked that they go get Gary because I was sure that our sweet #4 was gone. As he took the kids to a friends and then home, a church member drove me to the hospital. All I could think about was how disappointed my excited husband was going to be. This was his requested baby. While Micaiah was desired by both of us, most women have come to the time when we are READY and #1 is because we are READY. Charis and Tobias were both purely planned by our Heavenly Father. But #4... #4 was desired by Gary. Only twice in my life have I felt that I had irreversibly let down the man I loved more than any other. Once when I was single as I sat with my dad and shed tears with him assuring me he was not disappointed. Then second time being Sept 14th. Now, while we all know that in most cases a woman can do nothing about and has done nothing to cause a miscarriage, in that moment when it is staring her in the face she may KNOW that.. but it does not take away the responsibility that she feels. Of course the ER was the busiest it had been EVER! I literally sat in the ER in a wheelchair wondering.. waiting. Praise God that I have an awesome church family that starting showing up. They sat with me, bugged the ER staff about when they would see me, what number was I, why did he go in first. Two separate times, two different nurses came to me and told me to go home and take advil. What was going to happen was inevitable and would just take time. Our children's minister insisted I stay for a sonogram. Hours later I was wheeled back and examined. Long and closed. Long and closed??? Yes, long and closed. Time for the sonogram. Gary was not allowed in. I asked if I could see the screen, after three babies I knew what I was looking for. She denied. As she stayed in one spot for a very long time, I couldnt help but wonder what she was seeing. Finally, she moved and as she did she turned the screen toward me. Now, I dont know about you.. but I had never seen a high tech sono of an 11 week old BABY!! This is not a fetus people.. not an embryo.. this is A BABY!!! and it was MY BABY!! doing FLIPS!!! Literally from back to front! There were eyes, a nose, a mouth.. hands feet!!! AND because I knew what I was looking at along with the relief that one cannot describe came a flood of questions. The sac was full! I could see it!! So what was the fluid I lost? where did it come from?
I could see the relief, yet great concern on my husbands face as I was telling him. The dr came in and having spoken to my dr, I was placed on complete bed rest and told I had two placental tears. I was sent home with gloves to 'sift through any tissue' I might encounter and told to go to the Dr on Monday. Do you have any idea how far Monday is from the Wednesday before? ugh. My mom came up to help with the children and we anticipated a long stretch of bed rest.

As Monday came Gary drove me to the Dr. and the sonogram showed no further bleeding or loss. The tears had healed!! I asked the dr where the fluid came from and he could not answer. The embryonic sac was still full, the baby doing well. The only concern at this point was total previa, which I could totally deal with. I was placed on pelvic rest and sent home. While the next six weeks were trying due to the effects of the abruption, they were hardest due to the nausea which lasted until week 21. I had my next sono at this point. Baby #4 was a BOY!! and measuring right on target! Not only that but TOTAL previa had moved COMPLETELY!! God is so good! Complete healing. Complete.

In November there was a phone call. The one that as a wife I have dreaded. Gary's grandfather had a stroke. Praise GOD that Gary had been with him the day before and gotten to spend some time with him. But the call, the information, the knowledge of what this could mean what like being hit in the face with a frying pan. I didnt want to tell him. Two months later we are coming to terms with what is. Grandpa is physically fairly healthy. While we are not guaranteed tomorrow, he looks good and is being treated for what seem to be physical side affects from the stroke. Mentally, I will admit that it is somewhat heartbreaking to talk with him, but it is not completely discouraging. Just recently he requested to see us .. by name. He loves on our babies...LOVES ON THEM! Their photos sit right next to the computer screen where he watches the office because that is where HE wants them. Seeing him just last week, he took my hand and massaged it as he does. He knows I am pregnant and knows the baby will be here in a few months. And he looks at me and says, "I cant talk real good." Now, while that is HEARTBREAKING because he KNOWS he 'cant talk real good', let me also tell you that it is extremely encouraging! I told him that he needed to be patient and take it slow and that he would get it. It breaks my heart to watch my husband come to terms with what is going on with the only man he has every really had to rely on, to look up to, to cherish.. The man that fought for him, funded him, and loved him. BUT God is Faithful. God is Faithful.

Back to 2011. The rest of the year progressed as normal, which was truly a blessing. New friendships were built, the church making gains in many areas, sweet children celebrating Christmas and learning much from their amazing teachers.. Blessings.. Blessings..

As we have started the new year it still seems as though I have yet to stop. There is work to be done, children to raise, a husband to love, and ministry to be shared. I long for next week when I anticipate a slow in some things. But even before that, Tuesday we will get another glimpse at Baby #4. I am ready to start preparations. Ready to get ready. Ready for yet another Blessing to be brought to our family. And ready to share that blessing, thankful for the ability to do so. and let me tell you that if it didnt sound so feminine to me.. this baby might have been named Blessing!